I am afraid to vote for Sarah Palin

I am afraid to vote for Sarah Palin. Not because she is a woman but because she is a "Hockey Mom".  I, like most Americans, had no idea what a "Hockey Mom" was until the bespectacled VP candidate burst onto my TV.

She explained - "Hockey Moms" are just like pitbulls except they wear lipstick. This is where my problem lies. If I vote for Sarah Palin and she gets into office it could be embarrassing for the nation.

Her behaving like a pitbull would mean;

The VP constantly trying to bite the Post Master General.
The VP crapping on the White House lawn
The VP sniffing the butts of other VPs.
The VP sticking her nose in private body parts during cabinet meetings.
The VP barking late at night when an old guy like McCain needs his sleep. (In other words, after 8 PM)
The VP begging for food during State dinners.
The VP licking herself in front of others...never mind, I like that one!
The VP chasing cars.

See what I mean?

Having a pitbull in the Executive branch may not be the best course of action for the Nation. Sure on the surface it sounded great but when you think about it a few problems arise.

Of course with Palin you get other attributes;

The proceeds from her Snow Bunny calender would reduce the National Debt.
If America needs - a moose field dressed - we would have someone who could do it.
VP reunions with Cheney would be Pay per View gunfights.
Blizzards in DC wouldn't slow down the government with "Tawdd" Palin in the house.
Hot sweaty cabinet meetings would get more people watching.
We wouldn't have to teach Sex Ed in the schools until the student has at least three children.
We would have someone who knows oil. That theory worked so well with Bush and Cheney.
We would get to hear all about Alaska .....over and over and over again.

It's a hard choice to make but the nuggets all over the White House lawn sways me.

I do not want to watch Andrea Mitchel or any other news person scrape their shoes with a pop cycle stick every time we have a Rose Garden announcement.

Sure I won't get to hear about the "bridge to nowhere" again but it's a price I am willing to pay.












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