The bailout

Whose fault is the failure of the bill to bailout Wall Street?

I say it is the spineless men and women of Congress. They thought this was a great idea and then their constituents started calling. They immediately changed their jellyfish minds with the direction of the wind.

I personally do not know if 700 billion dollars will help fix America's financial woes. I do know, I voted for a couple of people in congress who are paid to know. If they think the bailout is the right thing to do than do it. If they think it is wrong - then vote against it.

Whatever you do I don't want to hear who is to blame. I just want to hear if you voted for it or against it with the thought on what is best for our nation.

If you voted against it because it was going to anger some voters. If you voted against it because the Speaker insulted you. If you voted against it because they didn't include your favorite pork barrel. Then you should be politically tarred and feathered and pointed out as a sunshine patriot.

Thomas Paine wrote in 1776 of our Revolution from England, "THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman."

Those words are just as true today. The men and women of Congress who stand up against party politics and their own constituents may face a temporary wrath. They may be forced out of work in their next election. They may be alone late at night and wondering if their vilification was worth the effort.

They may also live to see America's economic house in order again.

If their vote, nay or yea, is cast and recorded with a true heart than they will be remembered.

Years from now, long after this congress is gone from this Earth, they like Paine, will be people who are spoke of in reverent terms.

It will be said, America was staggering. The economic giant of the twentieth century was on the ropes. Then a wonderful thing happened. A few brave members, of the congress of 2008, looked political peril in the eye and said, "not today will the money changers of Wall Street bring down the United States".

It can be that way in America.

Just ask Sam Houston or Daniel Webster or the other Profiles in Courage that adorn America's historical landscape.

This Congress must ask itself two things;

Is temporary political comfort worth historical immortality?
Are you a sunshine patriot?

If the answers are no, then vote your heart, mind and soul and let that be the compass that steers America's financial future.

If the answers are yes, then you and you alone deserve the blame.


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Dancing with the Stars

Dancing with the Stars didn't disappoint men last night. There was more skin showing on Dancers than your favorite airport strip club.

Everyone from sweet little Julianne Hough to leather clad Misty May had their charms out. Brooke Burke had a couple of charms hanging in the wind and I am sure most men except Clay Aiken and Lance Bass approved highly. Toni Braxton looked like she forgot to wear pants. Please no one remind her next week.

I can't tell you who was the best dancer but I do want to say a special thank you to Chloris Leachman for toning her nasty granny act enough I could keep my dinner down.

Tonight someone will get booted and my guess is Rocco the Chef. Chloris deserves it more but I, in my cynical way, think the producers will keep her around for laughs.


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Monday morning

What can be said about Monday morning that hasn't already been said?

I can't think of anything and I think that is why Mondays suck. It's a jolt to the brain after a relaxing weekend of football, NASCAR and chores around the house.

Okay, Okay, so I skipped the chores but I more than made up for it by watching both college and NFL football. It was a sacrifice but someone has to keep the Nielsens up.

If I don't sit down for 12 hours Every weekend there is a chance the networks may cancel football. I have got to save the sport for all you DVRing, honey do boys that don't have a set large enough to say to the wife - It's Sunday and I am watching football. Of course it does help that the networks concede the fact by broadcasting nothing but crap other than the NASCAR race and the NFL. It also doesn't hurt if your wife works Sundays like mine.

But if she was home I would still watch football and NASCAR........at least on one of our six TVS!!!!



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I am helping the economy

As a few of you know I needed a new refrigerator. Apparently when a person (wife) buys a refrigerator they must also buy a matching stove. I can live with that.

The reason I can live with that is because - for a few extra bucks, per month, on the account payment you can also buy a 65 inch TV.

Did I need a big TV? YES!!!!

Okay maybe my 35 inch was fine but I wanted to help the government. I wanted to help spur the economy. I am a patriot!

By the way if you are keeping track;
The facts are normally I would buy my appliances at Best Buy. Again, if you read me often you know the story why I don't do that any longer.

The other facts are - since I have decided not to buy at Best Buy - I have bought; 200 dollar calculator, bluetooth for John's phone,micro SD cards for everyone in the family, portable hard drive for TJ's birthday, cell phone battery for Chris, new stainless refrigerator, new stainless range, new 65 inch television, reams of paper, printer inks and web design program.

See how patriotic I have been while also smiling about Best Buy every time? Being vindictive may not be nice but as long as it is kept passive it sure is fun.

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Chloris Leachman makes me sick

The viewers already (yea right), with help from the judges, have already shown their stupidity by kicking off Edyta. She is the one I have heard people (women of course and maybe Clay Aiken) say she wears too little clothing. Let me straighten you idiots out. There is NO such thing as too little clothing when you discuss a woman built like her. Just like there is no such thing as too much clothing when discussing Leachman.

Chloris Leachman makes me sick. Leaving her on Dancing with the Stars is like leaving a weed in a bouquet of roses. I turn on Dancing with the Stars for one reason - to ogle beautiful women in scantily clad outfits. I don't need some 142 year old woman messing that up.

Do me and America a favor judges and give the old bat the boot. I know you spout crap about you are only half the vote or some nonsense. I suppose you also want us to believe a fat guy dressed in red delivers toys. I can assure you that I pay for the toys, I put them together, and ABC can eradicate the show of any dusty old fossil they choose.

Please for the love of country choose Chloris to find the door and let me get back to perusing Brooke Burke, Toni Braxton and Misty May Treanor the way God intended.

With very little clothing!

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Brooke Burke .... Dancing with the Stars leader

Brooke Burke dances as well as she looks. Her gracefulness is only surpassed by her exotic good looks. This has lead her to be the early favorite, of not only most men, but the Dancing with the Star judges as well.

Buy at AllPosters.com

Her partner, Derek Hough - brother of new Nashville star Julianne Hough - is living every young man's dream as he leads Brooke across the dance floor, but last night he had a perplexing problem.

Apparently, during the Fox Trot, dancer's chests are not to touch. This is a problem when you are trying to hold Brooke Burke, unless you have arms of an orangutan. Derek tried hard which is more than most men would of done.

I think most of us would of sacrificed the judges points and hoped the home viewers understood. I know I wouldn't thought ill of the young man if he would of bitten the forbidden fruits and enjoyed a little melon while dancing with the former hostess of E's Wild On.

Of course when you are young like Hough, you don't realize, your whole life will not be spent in the arms of Brooke Burke or last year's partner, Shannon Elizabeth.

Someday, like the rest of us, he will wake up in some roach invested Salt Lake City dance studio teaching the likes of Chloris Leachman and trying not to lose his lunch on every spin.

It is then, he will look back at last night and know he missed two big opportunities to be happy.

It may have only been for a moment but the memory would of lasted for years.


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Clay Aiken comes out of closet

It is being widely reported that American Idol runner up, Clay Aiken, has outed himself in the new People Magazine - to be sold starting today.

This news flabbergasts me with surprise and amazement! Who would of thought? I can not believe this turn of events. I have not been so blind sided with an announcement of sexual preference since Rosie kicked the closet door down.

To think, a grown man who wears his hair like Peter Pan has a fondness for his own gender is startling.


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Trash day

I still want to see where the rule is written that trash is a man's job?

It doesn't make sense!

Why should we have to take out the trash? Why should we have to wheel the giant blue containers to the road? I want an explanation!

Trash as a man's responsibility defies logic. No other job in the house is ours. We don't do laundry. We don't do dishes. We only cook when an open flame and outdoors are involved. We do mow lawns but that is just to show our neighbor our mower is better than his.

So why, logically speaking, would trash be our job?

I say wives need to quit making laundry such a long and tedious job and get to carrying trash. The one time last year, when we did laundry, you didn't see us folding and fluffing and sorting into piles. We did it quickly and efficiently. The kids don't mind wrinkled shirts.

When we run out of dishes and have to wash a few, while you are at work, you don't see us stalling and slowing the process by scraping the plates before loading the dishwasher. You also didn't see us wasting time washing pots or pans. Don't you women know if you just stack them on the stove they will end up clean and in the cupboard somehow?

So I speak for all men when I say;

Learn to streamline your jobs and you won't have to rely on us to do your chore of trash carrying.

So you see, it's not a man's job it's a woman's lack of time management

If you need help in scheduling your work, just ask.

We can teach you right after the game.

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Dancing with the Stars

Dancing with the Stars didn't disappoint last night. Brooke Burke, Misty May and Toni Braxton were hot. They danced well too!

It was the next best thing to a televised Strip Club.

Unfortunately Edyta was matched with Jeffrey Ross and I will be surprised if they survive tonight's elimination. If they are gone it will be because the judges gave Chloris Leachman sympathy points when they scored her. She looked like she was lost most of the dance. I was hoping she would meander off stage, never to be seen again, but I had no such luck. I would guess her upper arms are still waving.

Our early choice has to be mother of four - Brooke Burke. Any woman who can give birth to her fourth child six months ago and look like that is going to be a ClubHusband favorite.


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Dancing with the Stars is for men this year

Dancing with the Stars new season starts tonight. Normally this wouldn't be big news for husbands but this year is different. Just take a look at the celebrities who will compete.

Toni Braxton...the R&B hottie who looks like caramel and probably tastes as sweet.

Brooke Burke...she was on E's Wild On and hosted "Rock Star". Waiting for her to dance Latin is liking waiting for Christmas morning.

Kim Kardashian...she is known for her J-Lo like asset.

Misty May Treanor..the Olympic Volleyball Champ...her bent over in a bikini was the highlight of Beijing.

Those are only the stars. The best body on the show is still going to be lithe and flexible Edyta Silwinksa.

Of course, don't forget our favorite - is dancer turned Nashville star the blonde and cute Julianne Hough


If this isn't a  show for men neither was Baywatch. Finally a network was smart enough to give us guys a reason to watch reality TV. If you don't agree explain the commercial that at first glance looks like an ad for a Gentleman's Club. ABC knows with Dancing with the Stars they have a huge hit with women liking the dancing (because we all know they would never watch it for the men dancers) and men liking anything Brooke Burke and Toni Braxton do while wearing high cut skirts and low cut shirts.

I know where i will be tonight....where will you be?




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Palin - Clinton

This is funny stuff!

I am afraid to vote for Sarah Palin

I am afraid to vote for Sarah Palin. Not because she is a woman but because she is a "Hockey Mom".  I, like most Americans, had no idea what a "Hockey Mom" was until the bespectacled VP candidate burst onto my TV.

She explained - "Hockey Moms" are just like pitbulls except they wear lipstick. This is where my problem lies. If I vote for Sarah Palin and she gets into office it could be embarrassing for the nation.

Her behaving like a pitbull would mean;

The VP constantly trying to bite the Post Master General.
The VP crapping on the White House lawn
The VP sniffing the butts of other VPs.
The VP sticking her nose in private body parts during cabinet meetings.
The VP barking late at night when an old guy like McCain needs his sleep. (In other words, after 8 PM)
The VP begging for food during State dinners.
The VP licking herself in front of others...never mind, I like that one!
The VP chasing cars.

See what I mean?

Having a pitbull in the Executive branch may not be the best course of action for the Nation. Sure on the surface it sounded great but when you think about it a few problems arise.

Of course with Palin you get other attributes;

The proceeds from her Snow Bunny calender would reduce the National Debt.
If America needs - a moose field dressed - we would have someone who could do it.
VP reunions with Cheney would be Pay per View gunfights.
Blizzards in DC wouldn't slow down the government with "Tawdd" Palin in the house.
Hot sweaty cabinet meetings would get more people watching.
We wouldn't have to teach Sex Ed in the schools until the student has at least three children.
We would have someone who knows oil. That theory worked so well with Bush and Cheney.
We would get to hear all about Alaska .....over and over and over again.

It's a hard choice to make but the nuggets all over the White House lawn sways me.

I do not want to watch Andrea Mitchel or any other news person scrape their shoes with a pop cycle stick every time we have a Rose Garden announcement.

Sure I won't get to hear about the "bridge to nowhere" again but it's a price I am willing to pay.












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Megan Fox was my neighbor

I was told this morning by an associate that Megan Fox (Transformer Movie Hottie)and I were neighbors. We actually lived in the same town for a couple of years. This information explains a lot.

I had always blamed myself for the two hurricanes that hit Port St. Lucie while I live there. I figured since I had already seen fire and floods wind was my next treat served by The Almighty.

Now I know it was Megan Fox's fault. Think about it. If you were a hurricane wouldn't you want to hit where she lives?



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Thursday morning

It's been a good day for America. It's almost noon and we haven't bailed out a big corporation yet.

As far as I know we haven't bailed out a small corporation either. Maybe this afternoon we could save GM or Kmart or some other dinosaur that has been stumbling through the corporate world without a thought towards innovation.

My thinking is; if companies would take care of their customers instead of pillaging their last dollar every chance they get maybe buyouts wouldn't be necessary.

Yes Best Buy I am looking at you!



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Transformers the movie

I remember when our oldest played with transformer toys. The ones that looked like robots but folded into bugs and cars and stuff.

So the other day I see a movie on HBO called Transformers. I clicked to it and checked it out. It wasn't bad. Lots of action. Wise cracking funny robots. Hot chick!

I wasn't familiar with the brunette that is the lead girl but she is something else. In the movie, she can fix cars, drive tow trucks and save the world. Our kind of girl!

She is also one of the hottest women in Hollywood. Askmen.com ranks her 16th and I would love to see the 15 who beat out her out.

My favorite scene in the movie is when the lead kid's dad sees her for the first time and he gives Junior a smile and a fist bump.

If you get a chance check out this movie. There are worse things to watch than Megan Fox - trust me.

P.S. she is of age so don't feel too guilty

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Government Bailouts

Every morning I hear about more government bailouts? When did this practice start? More importantly where they in 1998 when I needed bailed out?

Sure I didn't have a situation that could potentially wipe out Wall Street. I did however have a situation where I spent all my money on beer and couldn't afford the exit price in a Talladega jail. By the way Talladega jails rank right behind Mexico and just ahead of Turkey on the treatment of streakers.

It turns out Alabama didn't think my body unclothed was as funny as I did. I think what got me in trouble was when the sheriff's wife yelled, "Forget the bacon, I want sausage for breakfast! And I don't mean the mini links I get at home!".

I still think it was her big mouth that should of been arrested. They said I deserved it because I was the one who incited the states first all natural conga line.

How was I to know dancing with the First Lady of County politics was frowned upon?

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The Weekend

Brett Favre didn't beat the Patriots. Ohio State lost to USC. Neither Paula Creamer or Anna Rawson won the Bell Micro Classic. Dale Junior finished fifth at Loudon.

Not the greatest sports weekend.

I was surprised Favre didn't pull off a win. The OSU - USC game surprised me by the amount USC won by. Without Beanie Wells I knew Ohio State had a tough task but I didn't think they would lose by more than a touchdown.

Earnhardt did what he needed to do to stay close in points but a win would of been nice.

Creamer and Rawson lost but it was still fun to watch them walk around the course. Mostly it was fun to watch our favorite, Paula Creamer. It amazes me that a woman with the looks of Anna Rawson can look so bad on a golf course. Anna do us all a favor and throw away the stupid hat and old man glasses. Take a look at Paula and try to figure out why she is our favorite. A hint would be - it is only partly because she is the best American player on tour.

Best sports quotes of the weekend;

During the Michigan - Notre Dame game it was said "both teams practiced with wet balls".

During the LPGA it was said "Paula Creamer has the tightest hole"

Do these people listen to what they are saying?

Hey guys there are children in the room!




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On a lighter note...women's golf

Why is it a great many young women golfers feel the need to wear old lady shorts? You know the kind. The ones that are tapered and knee length. They are usually jean blue or some hideous pattern.

Is it a pride issue? Do they feel they want to be judged solely on their golf and not on their looks? Are they afraid they will be noticed and offered lucrative endorsement deals?

It is a mystery to me.

ClubHusband's favorite golfer, Paula Creamer, doesn't fall into this category. She wears the same style shorts you see in every mall, in America, on women her age. Sure she often gets noticed for her looks. Especially her legs. She is also the best female American golfer on the tour.

Because she is the best - is that why she feels she doesn't have to look like a 60 year old doing her gardening? What's next for these women, large bonnets with ribbons under their chins?

Paula Creamer is not only the best golfer but she is also one of the prettiest. Her All American looks with her signature pink ribbon, tied in her bouncing pony tail and her stylish shorts, leaves no doubt she is a woman.

This is why she will retire, many years from now, as a hall of fame golfer and a multimillionaire. No one wants to buy watches, golf clubs or anything else from a woman who looks like she has been planting petunias all morning long.

Americans want to buy products that make us believe we are one pink golf ball away from being like Paula Creamer or Tiger Woods.

It's a nice dream to think you may have something in common with good looking young athletes.

It's every ones reality that we are more like the women in old lady shorts.

We don't don't want to be reminded when we watch golf.

If we wanted that we would watch Grandma picking her prized tomatoes.

So ladies, do yourselves a favor, go to your nearest store and get yourself shorter shorts.

I know it won't make you play like Paula Creamer but I promise you it will make your husband happy.

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Candidates and their children

As a father, the subject of children is very close to me. A lot closer than I want on some days. I, like the candidates for the toughest jobs in America, love my children and don't want them attacked by the media or anyone else who disagrees with my choices.

I, unlike the candidates, do one simple thing to minimize their involvement.

I take don't take them to work with me!

When I was up for a job promotion I never paraded my off spring in front of my employers. When I was interviewing for jobs I never brought my children to the interviews.

It made it harder to ask questions about my children if they weren't sitting in the room.

I have never had People Magazine interview me but I have been interviewed by local newspapers and TV stations. Not once did I usher my children into the room and then tell the interviewer, "no please I don't want them talked to".

I, instead left them in the other room or better yet at home. It made it a lot harder for a media type to bring them into the conversation.

I am speaking to all political candidates - from dog catcher to President of these United States - when I say. If you don't want your children brought into a fight leave them outside the ring!

It's nothing short of hypocritical to use your kids as political props and then pretend to be a protective parent when they are brought into the election as an issue. You, the candidate, made them a target by putting them in front of the snipers.

To paraphrase Harry Truman - If you can't stand the heat, leave the kids out of the kitchen.


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Anna Rawson shows LPGA she is more than just looks

Anna Rawson - the Australian fashion model turned professional golfer  shares the lead after one round at the Bell Micro LPGA Classic. Rawson is tied at five under with fellow rookie Shanshan Feng.

Anna Rawson who has been known solely for her long legs and beauty, up until now, showed today she will not be golf's Anna Kournikova.

Her and Feng tamed the course while ClubHusband favorite Paula Creamer found trouble at almost every hole on a course she usually has wired. Creamer was six over the day as she shot a 43 on the back nine. She will have to play very well to make the cut tomorrow.

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Sexism in America

Does sexism exist in America? I can tell you without hesitation it does and will continue to do so. I can say that because I edit a sexist online magazine. Does that surprise you? If you don't think Clubhusband.com is sexist I am not doing my job. We are all about the male, mostly husbands, being the superior gender.

 Is that an unbiased view? Most uncertainly not! We don't have to be unbiased. We are the superior and dominant gender.

Sure women may say we are not dominant and we are only superior by tradition. I say horse apples to that theory. If we are only dominant by tradition and human conditioning, why do male horses dominate the Kentucky Derby? It's simple - the male gender is the stronger sex.

Is it fair? Some people would say no but who are we to argue with God. He designed the prototypes we just make them work.

Most recently sexism has come to the nation's forefront with the Presidential run of Hillary Clinton and the Vice Presidential run of Sarah Palin.

Over and over again during the campaign there has been charges of men being unfair to women. In Hillary's case it didn't stick. In Sarah Palin's case it seems to be gaining traction.

I think no one cared when Hillary Clinton was being treated unfairly because she has always been willing to go toe to toe with any man. She accepts the fact she lives in a man's world and will fight on their turf if that's what it takes to change things. She is like the baseball hitter who knows the umpire is giving the pitcher three inches outside the plate. She crowds the inside and strokes pitches into rightfield. Would she like a ball in the zone she could drive? Yes, of course, but until that happens she will continue to battle.

Sarah Palin is in the same game Hillary is but she isn't willing to swing at pitches off the plate. When balls are thrown outside the zone she sits with her bat on her shoulder and argues the call. Is she right about the pitches? Yes, but it still doesn't get her to first base.

As a nation we are starting to realize the umpires are not fair. We are starting to believe Sarah Palin deserves her walk and should get first base.

We are realizing it is not fair to ask Hillary or Sarah about the responsibilities of motherhood unless we ask McCain and Obama the same thing. We are realizing it's demeaning and insulting to refer to a U.S. Senator or  Governor as honey or sweetie. Even if they are hot little numbers like Palin.

 We as men have to be the bigger gender. We have to set the example for our weaker sex. We can no longer ask the Mommy questions.

If we do that maybe women will get the hint. Maybe they will stop asking us about our military service. Maybe they will stop asking us what sports we played in college. After all no one expects a woman politician to be a combat veteran or a quarterback. Just like they don't expect women to be six foot tall.

It's time we get all these questions out of politics so we can focus on the real issues.

Whether or not we can make the mortgage this month. Whether or not the mortgage company can make their mortgage this month. The Police action in Iraq. The war in Afghanistan. The 400 billion dollar yearly deficit. The creation of good jobs for my kids.

These are my problems and I want to know the candidates ideas.

 I don't care how many kids Palin has. I don't care what train Biden rides. I don't care what McCain did in a war 40 years ago. I don't care how many communities Obama organized.

I care about who can help the housing crisis. I care about who will put the safety of citizens in Camden, NJ ahead of citizens in Baghdad. I care who will put all the resources of America to bear on Bin Laden until he is found. I care about who will balance the budget. I care about who puts a premium on the next generation instead of pandering to mine.

So  the candidates should stop attacking each other and calling fouls when you think it's not fair.

Life isn't fair.

Both parties have presented good people who want America to succeed. It's not about the ends it's about the means. They should present their ideas and let America choose.

In the mean time - does anyone know where we can get pictures of Michele Obama or Sarah Palin in bikinis for Clubhusband's wife pictures?

Hey just because we don't think there should be sexism in politics doesn't mean we are going to change!








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Another prediction comes true

When our refrigerator quit, I predicted, it would lead to us replacing the range. I am now the proud owner of a new refrigerator and range. The refrigerator I needed, the range we had worked fine - most of the time.

Sure on occasion, like when I cook on it, I had to wiggle the burner to make it work. Sure it was ugly. I have seen almonds - they are not that color! Yes the oven was a little less than consistent in heat moderation terms. Does that mean it lived out it's usefulness?

If it does I may be next.

Sometimes to get me to work I have to be wiggled a little. Once in awhile I have to be shaken quite forcefully. Even though I am still quite a looker, in that middle aged, out of shape kind of way. I am not the stud I once was. Consistency is no longer my specialty. In the poetic words of Toby Keith "I am not as good as I once was but I am good once as I ever was"

So with these facts in mind it is my plan to be moving nimbly when they pick up the old appliances. It is not going to be a good time for an afternoon nap. I don't want to wake up on the back of a junk truck.

It is a sad time for us worn out old units of life. Me and my range may be on our last legs and not the first choice in the playground game of life but we still can get the job done. We can still get hot on occasion.

You just have to know which knob to turn and how hard to turn it!



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What a weekend

Serena Williams beat Jelena Jankovic. Tom Brady has - possibly - a season ending injury. My West Virginia Mountaineers were "upset" by a very good East Carolina football team. Dale Earnhardt Jr made the Chase and will make a run at his first championship.

Even though these are all compelling stories the biggest news of the weekend was me finally proving my skills as a prophet. I, last week, correctly predicted the future. Who cares if it was done in a post entitled "Monday Morning" that I wrote on Tuesday. The whole three day Labor day weekend thing had me confused. Like all great prophets I have my quirks.

I predicted, by the power company shutting off my power every ten minutes, my "refrigerator would be trash". Guess what? Saturday night the ice trays were water trays and the frozen foods were thawed. The power company accomplished the mission of trashing my refrigerator.

So today we will  go shopping for a new one with money we don't have. We also will most undoubtedly shop for matching ranges and dishwashers with more money we don't have. I don't understand why all the appliance have to match but apparently there is some sort of law stating this fact.

Yes of course we could buy a refrigerator that matches the old range. But I have been told I don't like that color. You say - what about the dishwasher? Well it never did match the other two. Obviously the previous owners of the house didn't know of the ordinance about matching appliances.

I guess spending money on matching appliances is an easier way to prove prophecy than parting an ocean or walking on water, so I will count my blessings.

I will count them because after the today it will be the only thing I have to count!


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The Heartbreak of Love

Everyone at one time or another gets their heart broken. If you are a sports fan it comes on a weekly basis. We watch our teams do down in glorious defeat and the rest of the week is shot thinking of what could of been.

Did the bad call in the first quarter cause them to lose by 30? Did the ball, called a strike, in the third inning lose us the game by five?

We never accept that on a given day our team played badly or even worse played well and lost. We rationalize every defeat with reasons we should of won. Even worse, some of us or more accurately all of us, at least one time, attack our own team.

We blame the quarterback, the pitcher and the coach more than any other players. These are the people most responsible for success so we think they must be most responsible for losses. We forget they are also the ones who spend every waking moment figuring out a way to win.

While we are enjoying our morning or our night before - they are at work. We flip on the TV to see not the first hour of their game but probably closer to the 100Th. When their last game ended their next game begins. They study opposition plays. They study opposing players. They study every wrinkle that may give them an advantage. They do this for themselves but it benefits us.

When our team wins it makes our week. When our team wins we boast and brag to everyone who will listen. We are elated, we are so smart as to pick the team who won the big one or maybe several small ones. It makes us feel better as people. It makes us feel superior.

Here lies the problem. If we feel that way when we win we as humans feel the opposite when we lose. Our superiority becomes inferiority. We base our worth as humans on what strangers do on grass fields, sometimes thousands of miles away.

Is that smart? Of course not.

Can we help it? NO!!!

We pout and we sulk like twelve year old girls. We don't want to be bothered, nor reminded, of the game our heroes lost. We avoid friends. We avoid news. We avoid our bookies but most of all avoid ESPN.

We are the jilted lovers of sports. The heartbreak kids of athletics. The addicted masses of competition.

I am just glad - my team as never been out played. My team has only lost because of bad calls by the referees. Except the game when the coach messed up and changed the pitcher and quarterback when we had it all but won.

This is why it is much harder for me to be nice on Monday mornings than you. My team is perfect and has bad luck. Your team just isn't as good as the other team sometimes.

So please just leave me alone and turn off ESPN.

P.S. If my bookie calls I am not here!






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Now I have settled down

I think I will spend the day watching sports. I was planning on watching Elena Dementieva win the U.S. Open but her 42 unforced errors in the semis took care of that. I will now watch Serena Williams play Jelena Jankovic. Neither have the looks of the six foot Russian but they are both great players. Serena's power will over whelm the speed of Jankovic as her first finals in a major will bring out nerves.

I also thought I would be capping my night with a NASCAR race but hurricane Hanna took care of that one. The race at Richmond will be rescheduled from Saturday night to Sunday afternoon at 1 PM ET. The Nationwide race will follow it as it was rescheduled as well.

So all that is left is watch some tennis. Funny how it doesn't hold my attention when it isn't one of the hotties playing - Sharapova, Ivanovic or Dementieva. Then I will change channels and watch football....lots of football including of course the WVU - ECU game.

There are worse ways to spend a hurricane weekend. Trust me I know i was in Florida in 2004 when Francis and Jeanne didn't seem to like the way my shingles, fence and gardening shed was arranged.

That's why I now watch sports on hurricane weekends instead of the Weather Channel.

It still gives me chills to see wind and rain decimate towns.....even if it isn't my town.



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McCain's finger on the button

John McCain would like us to put his finger on the nuclear button. I know he is a war hero. I know he was tested with constant beatings while a POW.  I know he seems energetic for a man his age but so did my Father.

At 72 we hid the remote from Dad so he wouldn't hit buttons when he didn't mean to!


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What happened to my afternoon?

Have you ever taken Zyrtec? It is an over the counter medication for allergy relief. I usually try to do without the relief because it makes me sleepy. Today my eyes were watering and my nose was clogged. I couldn't stand it any longer and I took one.

There went my morning!

I could barely stay awake. The bigger problem was I was groggy but my allergies seemed worse than ever. So I did a very bad thing and took another one. Not a good idea.

I sat on the couch drinking a Coke afterwards. I thought maybe if I just rested my eyes for a minute I would feel better. Next thing I know it was three hours later and the door bell was ringing.

My eyes weren't watering. My nose was clear. I didn't feel like I had to sneeze. The trade off was I lost my whole day. Of course you people benefited because I was sleeping instead of posting my brilliant drivel about my mundane life.

The trade off for you was - I didn't have the energy to find pictures of long legged tennis players of the female variety.

 Maybe tonight after I listen to the ramblings of Grandpa McCain I'll dig up a Harkleroad or Sharapova for you.

It's the least I can do.

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More drilling?

We as a nation own 3% of the world's oil. This number includes everything we believe to be in the ground. We as a nation use 25% of the world's oil. Anyone else see a problem?

Drilling will not solve our problem. Less usage is the key. All of you need to trade in your SUVs and buy economy cars. The smaller the better. If you all will band together in this crisis I can go on using all the oil I want.

I can continue to drive a gas guzzler. I can continue to ride ATVs for fun. I can continue to use a twin engine fishing boat for sport. I can also continue to blame OPEC for the high price of gas.

I don't understand why gas can't still be 50 cents a gallon like it was when I was making $5.00 an hour, driving a new Firebird - I paid $7000 for and living in a 35 hundred square foot house my parents bought for $23,000. It's ridiculous how those OPEC people treat us.

It seems like just yesterday I was eating a 20 cent McDonalds hamburger and filling up my tank for $8. I just don't get why big oil has to be so greedy.



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Going to bed

I watched Rudy Giuliani's speech. Funny he didn't mention marrying his second cousin or his felonious father?

I watched Palin's speech....I didn't realize she thought Reagan was a liberal.

I did some housekeeping on clubhusband.com

I painstakenly looked for a decent picture of Elena Dementieva for my readers. I hope you appreciate the sacrifices I make for you guys. I had to peruse at least a thousand pictures of Elena's firm, tight body before settling on the first one I saw. It was like finding a haystack around a needle but I did the job.

Now I think I will go to bed. I don't have to get up for at least six hours from now so I will double my usual nights sleep.

Considering tonight's activities I am praying I dream of Dementieva. If not I will settle for Sarah Palin's naughty school teacher look. Knowing my luck, my night will be spent looking at Rudy's goofy smile and screaming ....no Mr Mayor i don't want to see your Empire State Building!"


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Jelena Jankovic will play Elena Dementieva

Jelena Jankovic will play Elena Dementieva in the U.S. Open. It may not have the intrigue of the Williams sisters facing off but it will be more fun to watch.

Jelena is hot in that east Europe kind of way but the Russian born Elena is hot in an American kind of way.

Who ever wins could come out of this tournament number one in the world. Jankovic owns a 4-3 edge on Dementieva as they ready for the Grand Slam semi-final on Friday. Jankovic has yet to win one but has earned her Russian rival's respect.


"Against someone like her, she is going to play everything back," Dementieva said. "You can't play on the baseline. You really have to go on the court and create something. That's what I would like to do."

What I would like is for you two to throw away the rackets and jello wrestle for the championship.

It might not be fair to Serena but who cares!


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Sarah Palin...the media has missed the point

John McCain, in his grandfather like wisdom, picked an unknown as his running mate. Much like Grandpa did when he picked the paperboy to trim his hedges. I think McCain needed to check a little deeper but  like with Grandpa and Three Fingered Sam, it was his choice to make so I am okay with it.

I am sure Sarah Palin is a fine person. I think Joe Biden was right when he said "she's purdy". I know I agree with her on some issues and we disagree on others. It is the latest news about her daughter I have questions about.

I am not going to get into details but her daughter is someone we need to discuss. It shows not only the family values of the Palins but also the judgement of a person who could be President one day. Sarah Palin is running for, by my estimation, the 42nd most powerful position in our government, the Vice Presidency. The Vice President has just slightly less power than the Assistant Secretary of the Interior. Unfortunately unlike the Interior Dept her job could jump to number one fairly quickly. It's this reason, her decision with her daughter is relevant and should be examined.

Governor Palin's seventeen year old daughter Bristol Palin was born in 1990. She appears to be normal. She photographs on television very well. I am sure if you asked Joe Biden he would say she is purdy too. So has her infliction affected her in any way?

Probably.

Will it get in the way of her Mom's ambition to be Vice President?

I think it can be argued that by having loving, forward thinking, parents, Bristol will help Sarah's chances.

In a year with no southerner on either ticket, Sarah's oldest daughter is gold. Can you imagine going into Tennessee let alone North Carolina with her story?

Think about it.

It's a sun drenched Fall day in Mooresville, North Carolina. Sarah Palin is about to speak. On the podium stands her husband and family - including her oldest daughter. The crowd whispers and points. You can hear the murmur. "which one is she?"

Governor Palin tells of the family. The youngest with Downes. The oldest being sent to Iraq. The other stories. Then she gets to the one people are curious about.

The oldest female child of Todd and Sarah Palin becomes emabarrased. Not because of who she is but because no child likes her mother discussing personal things in public.

Governor Palin reminds the people the decision was made before the crowds grew huge. It was made long before most Americans paid any attention. It was made out of love.

"The love of NASCAR!" she shouts. The Republican crowd - wearing a sea of racing hats - goes wild. Bristol waves to the adoring fans. As they settle - the feminine voice of Alaska's governor says calmly "We think Bristol is just thankful she isn't named Thunder Valley."

Sure, by all accounts the Palins named her after their favorite fishing spot - Bristol Bay, Alaska. Not a bad story either but I would stick with the NASCAR version south of the Mason-Dixon and use the the real version in the west- Idaho, Montana.etc......

I don't know about you but my vote won't be depend on young Miss Palin. It will depend on old Mr McCain and  Mrs. Palin.

Vote for them or not you have to like a lady who names a daughter after her favorite fishing spot. It's just too bad Bristol's siblings aren't Daytona, Talladega, Richmond and Fontana.

If that was the case they would win the South in a walk.


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Monday morning

It's Monday morning and I will keep this short. I will keep it short not as a courtesy to those of you who find me long winded and wordy but because my neighbor's power is out and the electric company is obviously deploying a trial and error system. I say this because there is a power company truck in my neighbor's yard and my power has been going off every ten minutes all morning long.

I am sure this is a very good for my appliances and computers. By the end of the day we will all have electricity but our refrigerators will be trash.

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Labor Day

Labor Day is not the end of Summer but it seems like it. As August turns to September and we celebrate Labor Day our thoughts go from picnics and vacations to yard projects and work.

Today, a great many of us will fire up the grill. Whether it be charcoal or gas, we will throw hamburgers, hot dogs or maybe chicken on the flame and in a truly American way, signal the end to the season of fun.

America is a hot weather dominated culture and even though we have had heated houses for centuries we seem to be activated by the Sun's warmth. When schools are out and June heats up the air we take to the lakes the roads and the amusement parks. Then, like bears in hibernation, we retreat to our homes when the chill of Autumn is near.

It is unexplainable why but it is America's tradition.

Who am I to argue as long as i get to cook animals over fire one more day?




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