Danica Patrick cited for speeding

Danica Patrick is ticketed for a second time for speeding. The first time she was directed to attend a defensive driving class to dismiss the charge. Apparently she didn't learn her lesson. The brunette bombshell of Indy racing, apparently believes she can handle a car going 54 mph.

The first ticket was for going 57 in a 40, so she has lifted her lead foot slightly.

Where did 2008 go

Where did 2008 go?

Wasn't it yesterday the Giants upset the undefeated Patriots? Wasn't it this morning Big Brown finished last in the Belmont Stakes? Wasn't it a moment ago the Celtics beat the Lakers for the NBA Championship?

Time flies when sports is good.

This year in sports rivaled the best years in history.

Tiger winning the Open on one leg. Michael Phelps dominating the Olympic pool. The USA men's basketball team capturing Gold.

The sports memories of 2008 will be talked about long after the athletes have left the stage.

They will speak of a great golfer who ignored pain. They will speak of a Boston team that proved leprecahns still live in the NBA. It will be remembered with fondness; how the unknown captain of the USA relay swim team, buoyed by patriotism, showed the French it takes more than youth to win a race.

2008 was a magical year in sports and one day your kids will ask you about it and you can say; Yes, I saw Phelps, yes, I saw Pierce match Bryant for a series. Yes, I even saw the greatest horse ever to finish last in a race.

Yes, you can say, it seemed like yesterday.

Jessica Biel - the best pucker in the business

Jessica Biel

Photo

Buy at AllPosters.com



Why a picture of Jessica Biel puckering? Why not! Don't even try to tell me you would rather read my nonsensical drivel than look at Jessica Biels puckered lips.

Gisele Bundchen there is still hope

Buy at AllPosters.com

Gisele Bundchen still available

For all of you dreamers, there is still hope. The weekend rumors that New England Patriots quarterback had scored big were untrue. He is not engaged to Gisele Bundchen.

The family of the couple have refuted the story. Tom's father said he hadn't heard of any engagement and the the best was, Gisele Bundchen's twin sister said it was a false rumor.

Why is that the best? Because it tells us Gisele has a twin! You dreamers now have two shots at heaven.

Sure by first glance she is probably a fraternal (not identical) but still not a bad looking woman. Can you imagine the family dinners with the relatives? Who wouldn't want to eat with Gisele?

Sitting at Christmas dinner and you hear Gisele Bundchen say to you, "can I have more meat?"

Christmas is over

Christmas is over.

Six months of planning. Three months of shopping. One month of serious buying. Three days of wrapping.

Twenty minutes of unwrapping.

Twelve minutes later they are playing with games and toys they already owned.

It was a joyous morning. Only one gift didn't work. It was an expensive giant Nerf gun. A belt fed, tripod mounted Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster . It looked cool. It worked for five shots. The gear that feeds the belt quit working. If you check the reviews online you will find none of these worked. Review after review tells the same story. (Do NOT buy this toy) So we exchanged it for another Nerf weapon that shoots for distance. It works and the crisis is over.

Everything is working. The new wireless Lexmark printer needed a software patch to work with Vista but that was no problem. A thirty second download and we were printing documents and pictures from all over the house.

There is bad news for those of you who already think I write too much. I received an office chair equipped with a massage feature to keep me working longer. Sorry!

One disappointment I had on Christmas was; my youngest son bought me a Boston Celtics tie. Somehow between wrapping and putting under the tree it was lost. Since it was lost the Celtics have lost two straight games. Before it was lost they had won nineteen straight. Coincidence?

By the way I also received from a son a WVU Mountaineers jacket and they won their football bowl game, The Meineke Car Care Bowl and then their basketball team beat Ohio State by 28. OSU was ranked 15th in the country and had the longest win streak in the nation. Again, coincidence?

Attention Dale Earnhardt Jr fans I also got a Amp pullover so you can look forward to Junior winning the cup in 2009.

Monday morning house keeping

I am in a pretty good mood this Monday. Of course good for me and good for other people is different.

This weekend I tried to eat at Colton's Steakhouse. I say - tried - because I ordered the 12 oz prime rib and they gave me a piece that looked like it was cut with an axe. Then when I traded that in for a medium rare, sir loin steak they brought out the Mojave desert of steaks. This piece of meat had less moisture than a cinder block in a Nevada construction site. I then asked for my check and the weasel of a manger sent the server to tell me there would be no bill. I appreciated the thought but it was his place to do the dirty work. Apparently he is only interested in the compliments, not the complaints.

I helped decorate Christmas cookies last night. My family doesn't seem to appreciate my creativity. I think there is nothing wrong with a ginger bread man wearing a blue thong.

All the Christmas stuff is done except for putting things under the tree. We have to wait till the last minute or Maximus, the 80 pound Boxer, opens the gifts. He blames it on Christmas, the 70 pound Boxer, but I know the truth.

By the way, I now own more batteries than Duracell.

I read Toyota reported it's first operating loss since 1941. What a shame, a company that turned it's first profit making vehicles to defeat America in a war, is having financial trouble.

I noticed thousand of people are reading my prime rib recipe.....I need to write a cook book! Should I include pictures of hot woman? let me know what you think.

From My Brother Dennis..on why Boys need Mothers

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.




2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.



3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant..



4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.



5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.



6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.



7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.



8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.



9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.



10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.



11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.



12.) Super glue is forever.



13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.



14..) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.



15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.



16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.



17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.



18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.



19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.



20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.



21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.



22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.



23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy



24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.



25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Twas the Week before Christmas

'Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the state



My shopping was not yet done - boy am I late;



The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,



In hopes that St. Nicholas would fill my large pair;



With a few days to go the children were still in school,



They claimed a snow day but I was no fool;



And Mom making cookies, while I took a nap,



She wanted to buy them but I said that was some "crap",



When out on the lawn I heard a large noise,



It wasn't the bus it better not be the boys.



Away to the window I walked in a stupor,



It was the neighbors dog taking a pooper.



I grabbed my rifle and loaded a B-B



A shot burst out - I hit Fifi



When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,



My neighbor holding a leash and loaded with beer,



He was big and ugly and a little bit fat,



My next shot hit him square in the hat.



More rapid than eagles his curses they came,



And he whistled, and shouted, and called me a name;



I fired again and made him dance like a chicken !



It was funny the way his feet were a kickin"!



And then, in a twinkling, I yelled "had enough?'



"If you don't surrender it's going to get rough"


Another shot landed him flat on his back,


If he was a deer I would have a nice rack.



His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!



It was more than just beer he was filled with Sherry!



His fat little lips were drawn up like a bow,



And his head was planted deep in the snow;


He had a broad face and a little round belly,



That shook, when I shot him like a bowlful of jelly.


A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,



Soon led me to believe he wanted me dead;



I said "on my lawn your dog took a big poop"


"If you didn't want shot you should of brought a large scoop"




I pulled the trigger with a quick squeeze,



Nothing came out but a short breeze,


He put his lips together and gave a quick whistle,



And his poodle came flying like the down of a thistle.



He commanded a French dog the size of a shoe",


He must of forgot I own Boxers times two.


They were on Fifi in the blink of an eye

I was laughing so hard I started to cry


They tossed him and threw him like a rag doll

Home my neighbor started to crawl


I heard exclaim as he crept out of sight


"Happy Christmas to all, and to all I am done with this fight."

Merry Christmas

Yes I said it! Not have a good day. Not Happy Holidays. I said, Merry Christmas!

If you don't like you are an idiot.

Christmas is a fact. Christians celebrate December 25th as the birth of Christ. Sure we have commercialized it beyond recognition but the 25th of December is still Christmas. So if I say to you, Merry Christmas, I am just saying have a Merry day on the 25th. If you don't celebrate it, then you can take it, just like if I said, have a Merry January 17th or April 30 or any other day you like. I am just wishing you a merry day. If that insults you, I am sorry. Not sorry I said it but sorry you are so extremely sensitive if offends you. Sorry you are so stupid you didn't realize December 25th is Christmas just like the 4th of July is Independence Day in America. Sorry you are so self centered that no other people on earth should greet you with a Holiday wish of their own belief.

I celebrate Christmas and you may celebrate something else but I like it when someone is nice to me and that's all people are being when they say "Merry Christmas".

I assure you I am not offended when little kids come to my door asking for candy in the celebration of a pagan holiday [1].

I think holidays are fun and a great excuse to spend time with friends and family. I don't care which or whose hoiliday, I will help celebrate it if I am invited.

So.........Merry December 16th to you and to you a good night.



1. Halloween has origins in the ancient Celtic festival known as Samhain (Irish pronunciation: [ˈsˠaunʲ]; from the Old Irish samain). The festival of Samhain is a celebration of the end of the harvest season in Gaelic culture, and is sometimes regarded as the "Celtic New Year". Traditionally, the festival was a time used by the ancient Celtic pagans to take stock of supplies and slaughter livestock for winter stores. The ancient Gaels believed that on October 31, now known as Halloween, the boundary between the living and the deceased dissolved, and the dead become dangerous for the living by causing problems such as sickness or damaged crops. The festivals would frequently involve bonfires, into which the bones of slaughtered livestock were thrown. Costumes and masks were also worn at the festivals in an attempt to copy the evil spirits or placate them

Survivor Sugar Kiper

Jessica Sugar Kiper should have won Survivor

Sugar played the best game, week in and week out, on CBS's Survivor Gabon Edition but Bob "the science snob" won the million. Bob Crowley played well but he firmly grasped the coat tails of the 29 year old waitress/actress, pretending to be a pinup model, to win the money.

Sure a lot of people will say my fondness for blondes taint my opinion. They will also say my hatred for bitter hags will want me to beat Corrine with a Louisville Slugger. They are right on both accounts.

I do tend to want cute blondes to win at everything I watch. I also tend to think anyone who belittles a person over sadness for losing a parent is deserving of a baseball bat to the head. It doesn't mean I am wrong on either opinion.

I also think Jeff Probst deserves a whack for the way he handled the popularity prize of $100,000. I understand it goes to the person with the most votes, Bob, but he didn't need to make Sugar think she had won, before announcing, bow tie boy had swept the big prizes.

All in all, it was a decent season. The final four people were all likable and even though Sugar was my choice I can not argue with Crowley winning. I do think it was a shame when Matty left before Suzy. I wanted to see it come down to Gilligan, the Professor and Ginger for all the marbles.

I also think the jury showed they are truly petty and bitter people when not one of them could bring themselves to vote for the dumb blonde who out smarted them all. I guess I am being petty too when I say I hope next time Randy gets a call about recording a wedding they say "no thanks, you are that jackass from Survivor". And I know I am being bitter when I say I would love it if, pharmaceutical rep, Corrine never sells another thing because she can't stand nice people and the doctors think of themselves as nice people.

I have droned on way more than the show deserves but I want to say a couple of things before moving on to important things like my Christmas shopping or my avoidance of mowing my lawn.

If Corrine doesn't like nice people she would love meeting me. I would make the wannabe reality star cry like a baby before I got done with her. Corrine your 15 minutes were up two weeks ago, live with it.

Finally, again, I think Jessica "Sugar" Kiper deserved the million dollars. If you think I was prejudiced by her bare assets on the web you may be right but it doesn't mean I am wrong.

Thanks Sugar, you made me laugh more than once and if Randy or Corrine have a problem with that - me and my bat have a cure.

Done with Christmas

I finished my Christmas shopping today. It was a little crowded at the mall but the sales were terrific. It was mostly at stores that are going out of business. It is amazing how good a store gets at selling when it is standing on it's last leg.

I went into a clothing store today, bought a few items and checked out. The weird part was, the employees were faster and friendlier than ever and the prices were fantastic. Makes you wonder why they didn't offer those things while still financially stable.

Anyway, it feels great to be done except for a few minor things like batteries and Christmas candy.

Twelve days before Christmas may be a record for me. I am usually shopping on December 24th. It's so much easier. I just take a shopping cart up and down the aisles picking up what is left. It wasn't what the family wanted but it was they received.

Won't they be surprised this year when they actually get something besides gift certificates to Applebees.

Cannon Balls and Monkeys

My brother sent me this item and he is as strange as I am, so who knows where he read it.

CANNON BALLS !!

It was necessary to keep a good supply of cannon balls near the cannon on old war ships. But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck was the problem. The best storage method devised was to stack them as a square based pyramid, with one ball on top, resting on four, resting on nine, which rested on sixteen.


Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem -- how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under the others.


The solution was a metal plate with 16 round indentations, called, for reasons unknown, a Monkey. But if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make them of brass - hence, Brass Monkeys.


Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey.


Thus, it was quite literally, cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. And all this time, you thought that was just a vulgar expression, didn't you? You must send this fabulous bit of historical knowledge to at least a few uneducated friends.

And I bet you thought you wouldn't learn anything new today!

Jennifer Aniston? Is it just me or is the new cover of GQ better than Playboy?

Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?

Am I the only one who would pick Jennifer? Sure it maybe be my fondness for women with lighter colored hair but I also think she is better looking. I admit Angelina is no slouch, I just think Jennifer Aniston's All American, apple pie looks are superior.

Angelina has those dark sultry looks but anyone who ever saw Jennifer on Friends, in a cold room, knows she has a couple of things going for her too.

Those couple of things are the highlight of the new GQ magazine cover.

Jennifer Aniston is wearing a tie and nothing else on the January cover of GQ. A lot better choice than the idiot metrosexuals who usually are shown.The 39-year-old actress shows off her toned body next to the headline: "Is it just us or is Jennifer Aniston getting hotter?"


I would have to answer - like a fine wine - Jennifer Aniston gets better every year but cold is still how we like her served.

I'll take a double scoop, please.

Christmas Deals are Everywhere!

Want a good deal on electronics? Wait till I buy something then it will immediately go on sale. It never ceases to amaze me, how I can research an item for a month, buy it at the absolute lowest price available in the world, then it goes on sale the next day.

How do the stores know when I buy things? Do they pay that much attention to my shopping habits? Am I a barometer on what the public will buy cheap?

 It seems so.

If I bought a new computer for a dollar, you could bet the next day the computers would be two for a buck. It is an uncanny ability I have to predict sales.

So if you are looking for great buys this Christmas, simply follow my lead and wait a day.

It will work - I promise!

Illinois Governor Puts Senate Up For Sale

The Governor of Illinois, with a name I can't pronounce, attempted to sell President Elect Obama's U.S. Senate seat. Is this such a bad idea?

He has sole power in naming a successor to Obama so why not sell it? Maybe he could net 5 or 6 million for it. Now I am not advocating he sell it for personal gain, I think he should sell it for state budget purposes. I am sure Illinois could use the money.

Whomever gets the seat will have to spend a lot more than 5 million to defend it, so it would be a good deal.

While he was at it he should of put his seat on EBay...I heard it will be open soon too.

Jessica Biel - Blue Powder

Jessica Biel will star in Blue Powder to be released later this month. In the movie Jessica plays an exotic dancer. So you see; Christmas wishes do come true.

Miss Biel will show us her extraordinary talents and according to reports, a great amount of skin. There are worse ways to spend a winter day then watching Jessica Biel dance across a movie screen with nothing but a smile.

One may wonder what boyfriend Justin Timberlake thinks of the whole population of America seeing his Biel in all her glory but we think it is his way of bragging. He will smugly let us ogle her with the knowledge of where she sleeps at night.

The trailer looks pretty intense but i still have a feeling it will leave men smiling as the exit the theater.

EBay

EBay sellers drive me crazy!

They want to be in business anonymously. I don't mean the housewives who occasionally sell their garage sell items - I mean the people who are running an online store on EBay.

If you want to be in business buy a phone!

Publish the number!

Provide customer service!

If you don't want people to know your number - quit selling stuff!

Stores have phones. Phones have phone numbers. People answer those phones. Customer service is provided!

If you are not willing to do this - Don't have a store!

Jay Leno moves to 10 PM

Starting in June of 2008 Jay Leno will leave the Tonight Show for a 10 PM slot. Like all old guys we are assuming he can no longer stay up until 11:35 PM.

The brainiacs at NBC says the new show will be "DVR proof". Meaning it will be so topical you will want to watch it live and not recorded. I don't know about your house but in mine - we only watch recorded. Every show is "time shifted" for convenience. We have too many errands and duties that are time sensitive to plan our life around TV.

So the NBC people are basically telling me - look elsewhere for your programing. Fortunately for me I never liked Leno so I am fine with their 1980's programming style.

Have fun Jay....if you need me I will be watching recorded sports.

LeaseTrader.com

LeaseTrader.com
Releases List of Top Holiday Car Gadgets for Men


Hot Items Include WI-FI and Smart Mirror with GPS

MIAMI – December 8, 2008 – As consumers gear up for the holiday shopping season, LeaseTrader.com
reveals this holiday season’s top car gadgets according to a recent men’s poll. LeaseTrader.com, a leading provider of automobile lease transfers, polled more than 1000 men that use Leasetrader.com to find the top car-related gadgets that they want this holiday season.

“This year there are a number of items we’re excited about, such as Wi-Fi internet for your car, and the smart mirror with GPS,” said Sergio Stiberman, CEO and Founder of LeaseTrader.com
. The 2008 Men consists of the hottest trends and gadget ideas this holiday season. The LeaseTrader.com car gadget wish list follows.

Child Minder: The Smart Pad is an ultra-thin sensor pad that goes under the fabric of a child’s car seat. The alarm unit is connected to the parent’s keychain. If the driver walks away from the car without removing the child from the car seat, the alarm will sound.

Mini Car Refrigerator: Features 2 basic temperature options: cooling or heating. Plugs directly into cigarette lighter and is perfect for coffee or any other kind of beverage.

Smart Mirror with GPS: The SmartMirror is a replacement mirror that has a high end navigation unit and an excellent quality Bluetooth hands-free system on board.


Coffee maker in Car: The coffee/espresso machine sits neatly in the central arm rest between the passenger and provides fresh coffee or espresso at the touch of a button.


WI-FI: The system works via a special wireless router, mounted in your car that draws connectivity from cell phone towers and then converts it into an in-car Wi-Fi signal. It allows full wireless service in your vehicle.



About LeaseTrader.com




LeaseTrader.com easily and affordably matches car shoppers with individuals looking to escape their auto lease. Privately held and founded in 1998, LeaseTrader.com
is headquartered in Miami. For more information visit www.leasetrader.com, or call 800-770-0207.

Starr Spangler and The Amazing Race

This years Amazing race was won by a brother sister team of Starr Spangler and her brother Nick. Nick does something on Broadway and Starr is a graduate of TCU and a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader.

She has looks, a great body and $500,000. She even won a few romantic getaways by finishing first on several legs of the race. We assume she isn't using those with brother Nick. It is reported she is dating fellow contestant - Dallas. He is the dark haired moron who competed with his mother. They were favored to be in the final three until Einstein lost their passports and all their money in a cab.

If Nick isn't going and Dallas loses his passport I am sure Starr will have plenty of volunteers to share her island getaways.

Nick and hot sister Starr, may be the best team ever to be on The Amazing Race. They flew by their competition at almost every turn. It might have been their athleticism or their great map skills but I have to wonder if it was because every male contestant wanted to see Starr from behind.

Front or back Starr Spangler is worth a look!

Congratulations to Nick and Starr Spangler however they did it!

Christmas Shopping and carts

I hate stores but I hate online carts - what do I do? I could skip Christmas but that makes for a very unpopular Dad on the 25th of December.

I hate stores because they are full of shoppers. I think it's very inconsiderate of all of you to want to shop at the same time I am cruising WalMart for specials.

This leads me to being an online shopper.

Something I don't mind since it looks like I am doing work. I am tapping away, at what people think is my next spell binding blog post, when in all reality I am thumbing through the virtual sale ads at Staples.

This system worked well for me until my latest revelation.

When I am inside the actual store and I put something in my shopping cart it is there until I voluntarily relinquish the item or pay for it. When I am online this doesn't work. I recently found some things a member of my family may want, I put them into my cart and continued to shop. When I finished I had two items I wanted in my cart. I click the checkout button and much to my surprise, one item was now ten dollars more expensive and the other item was no longer available.

Outrageous I cried!

This was almost enough to send me back to Best Buy.....almost...not quite!

I, in the Christmas spirit of greed and materialism, paid more for the one item and went to another online store and found the second item in stock for ten dollars less. I quickly completed the check out and I was now even.

Even though it didn't cost me anything but a few minutes, of pretending to blog, I still was aggravated.

Yes I know.......me aggravated?

How unusal!

Christmas shopping

I am going to go Christmas Shopping during the day. This breaks all my rules. I usually only shop at night but I need a day time mission before I order online. I need to check prices one more time and I want to finish today so I have no choice but to brave the stores today.

Also Max and Christmas, the Boxers, need dog treats. They expect them when they come inside and were quite disappointed when I told them we were out. The received a consolation cracker but it didn't make them too happy. So, since I have to brave the cold and battle the bargain hunting housewives for Snausages, I might as well do some research.

Then I can go on Amazon and a few clicks later I am done.

Christmas Gifts

Cameras, MP3 players, Tom Toms and video games are spinning around in my head where sugar plums should be. Walmart, Circuit City (never Best Buy) Staples - I feel like I have seen everything in their stores.

It's so confusing to pick out anything. What's the difference between a point and shoot camera and an SLR camera? Is a Tom Tom that much better than a Garmin? Which video games are suitable for a 12 year old? Is an MP3 player different than a IPod? These are questions I have.

It wasn't too many years ago a sales person would answer the questions. Now, if you can find one, they know less than I do. It seems to me it would be profitable to train these people in the items they sell. Of course it would also be profitable to train them in common courtesies like greeting people  but the stores obviously don't bother.

Christmas gets more like a job every year. Finding the right gift takes all your energy. Fighting the crowds to save a buck is overwhelming. It is one reason I like Walmarts that stay open 24 hours. I can go at 2 AM and I have the store to myself. The employees are restocking. The managers are napping. I can look at everything. Write down notes and research the products online.

Then the next day I can purchase the choice I make.

It is a pretty good system and it keeps me from being trampled.

Christmas Shopping in the dark

I have no earthly idea what to buy anyone on my Christmas list. I ask them for ideas and they tell me they want nothing. If they keep that crap up they are going to get what they want!

They think it is being nice by not giving me hints. It's about as nice as Dick Cheney's water board parties.

So now I get to wander aimlessly through department stores hoping lightning will strike. Some afternoons I mean that literally.

I do not enjoy shopping. I don't really enjoy buying, unless it's for me - then it's quite exciting.

I like electronics, in case you are wondering. The electronics don't have to be expensive but I don't mind it. It's more the fun of having a grown up toy on Christmas, than the item itself. There is no fun in opening clothes or tools or any other dull object. The fun of Christmas is opening a gift you can mess with all morning.

So if you are stuck without an idea for me; I like to mess with cameras, computers or Playboy Bunnies.

Surprise me!

Monday and Reality

It's Monday morning after a long weekend. It's back to, up early with the kids. It's back to, the diet. It's back to diligent work on ClubHusband.

OK, you caught me, but two out of three ain't bad.

Diligent is not exactly a word people think of when they see me work. Talented? Of course! Fast? Once or twice. Prolific? A few times. Diligent? Never.

I firmly believe, I am very diligent. It's just, I am so talented, fast and prolific, I make it look too easy to be called diligent. Others of course (the wife) would say lazy fits me better.

 Is it lazy to entertain you people with three posts a day? Is it lazy to personally review every picture of every wife we are sent? Now some people (again the wife) would say it's because I like to entertain and look at women but that doesn't mean it's not work. It just means I enjoy my job.

I admit there is one or two jobs in the world harder than mine. For example; teacher in an inner city school or maybe President of the United States. I still say it doesn't mean my job isn't worth doing and doing diligently.

Someone has to entertain you people on cold Monday mornings - such as this one. Someone has to review the pictures of wives we are sent. So I volunteered.

The writing of entertaining blogs was a natural. I, after all, have been described (by me) as the the greatest living American writer.

The reviewing of the wives was not such a clear cut choice. Many people volunteered. So we decided to share the chore. Any ugly wife we are sent I forward to my business partner. Any picture of a less than ugly wife I personally and solely review. It's a system that works for me.

So as you can plainly see I am diligent.

So today I rose early to wake my children for school. I will go back to dieting.

I will diligently work on ClubHusband.

But first I will take my nap.

Cyber Monday

Cyber Monday sounds like fun but it is really just a desktop version of Black Friday. Instead of braving the stores like Black Friday, Cyber Monday you stay at home and order Christmas presents online. It has grown so popular, most major retailers have specific sales just for Cyber Monday.

They also provide free shipping under most circumstances and if they don't move on to the next web retailer. It ruins a great sale on cameras, computers or any other electronics if you have to pay to have it shipped. You might as well get in your car, drive down to Circuit City (we all know I hate Best Buy) and buy the item in the store.

The only problem with Cyber Monday is the ease of distraction. You go online to shop for a laptop for your wife and next thing you know you have spent 90 minutes perusing the pages of ClubHusband wife pictures.

So my advice is to go online, make your buy then come back here for the eye candy. We are always open!