Saturday

Some people have wondered why I haven't written lately. The simple answer is - I have had nothing to say.

So why do I write today? The obvious answer would be - I have something to say.

That is the obvious reason but not the correct reason. The reason I write today is because I need an excuse not to work in the yard. There is no decent sports on...Tiger missed the cut, NASCAR Sprint Cup is off this weekend, Paula Creamer is idle. The weather is perfect - 75 in July? So I need to write, so I can pretend I am too busy to trim the ivy and rake the lawn. I'd like to find the guy who planted my ivy and bust him one. The plant is a pain. Why am I raking the lawn in the summer? Because I went Edward Scissor Hands on my over grown shrubs and there are evergreen branches all over my front lawn. I like using my cordless hedge trimmers but I hate the mess I leave in my wake.

Would any bikini clad women like to clean up my mess?